Gaithersburg MD event re: Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando FL

The City’s photo of their Concert Pavilion – partly because I was verklempt enough at the event that I had a junior moment about taking photos.  But I think at least one attendee captured it on their phone. 

Tonight we held a community event here in Gaithersburg to recognize and start to process the mass shooting at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando – our official title was LGBTQ Vigil And Recognition of Pulse Massacre (and here is the Facebook event).

This may well be the only Orlando event in this city, which is my partner Julia’s hometown and our current home (I moved here two and a half years ago after a lifetime in Boston).  The lead organizer and MC was Jenny Armour, in partnership with some of her City Hall co-workers and others; Julia became one of the part-time Greeters at our city hall a few months ago.  The event was held at City Hall – the city was not an official sponsor, but they provided us with the Concert Pavilion including the sound system, and through a related connection we had two uniformed police officers attend.

One of the most significant things about the event was that it was led and largely attended by people of color, and primarily Latinx people.  While attendance was quite small -- mainly due to scheduling conflicts and the other usual issues -- it was supportive and diverse (including age), and we were joined by a young family that happened to be passing through and stopped to inquire about what was happening; and we certainly had many people who were there in spirit -- and hope to have many more through our sharing about the event and the rest of the local community work.  Too, Julia and I were blessed to have some friends from our local faith and fat communities join us.  Also, the weather was excellent -- if anything, even better than shown in the photo.  

Julia and I brought the battery-operated tea light 'candles' from the Montgomery County MD Trans(gender) Day of Remembrance (#MCMDTDOR) and lined the front edge of the stage with 49 of them -- one for each victim.  This worked out well even though it was daylight even at the very end of our gathering (it's almost the longest day of the year); again, sorry I didn't get any photos, but I was verklempt etc.

We opened the evening with Jenny giving a welcome.

Michelle sang the National Anthem (The Star Spangled Banner).

Gretchen Wyrick read her prose piece about what happened at Pulse in the very early morning of Sunday June 12^th -- and it is fairly detailed, so please use your very best judgement around if, when and how long to read it.  
(And it was only through listening to her that I realized that part of my connection to the Orlando events is that my paternal grandparents died along with almost 500 others in the fire at the Cocoanut Grove nightclub in Boston in 1942 (which was largely the result of the club owner conspiring with the city in ways that that made a fire very likely and very lethal; click here to read my most recent post about it.)

• “On June 12, 2016 at around 2:00 am the United States experienced the deadliest mass shooting in its history as a gunman entered the crowded gay nightclub Pulse in Orlando, Florida.”

Leslie read the names of the 49 people who were murdered that night.

Jenny read Jameson Fitzpatrick’s poem “A Poem For Pulse” – he posted in on Facebook just hours after the shooting and as a response to that news; she read a version she edited for this evening.

• “Last night, I went to a gay bar
• with a man I love a little.
• After dinner, we had a drink.” 

Rob and Leslie sang along with Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men’s “One Sweet Day”.

Keith Pumphrey read Mark Rikerby’s 2008 poem “How We Survive.”

• “If we are fortunate,
• we are given a warning.
• If not…" 

I shared some thoughts about how the events in Orlando and the responses to them can help us think about our local community and commitment to social justice.

• “And primarily, I bring questions.  Why are we here?  Tonight is about Orlando, but it is also about much more – it has to be.”

Rob and Leslie sang Macklemore and Ryan Lewis’ “Same Love”, including Mary Lambert’s “She Keeps Me Warm” chorus.

Julie Lyst, Jenny’s partner, shared some words. 

Jenny gave thanks and some final thoughts.

And then, especially as it was almost the longest day of the year, we were able to spend some informal time with each other before we all parted.  (Though Julia and I couldn’t stay as long as we might have liked, as we needed to get home to our bossy dogter – we could have brought her, especially as we walk her there pretty often, and maybe we should have.) 

Thanks very much, everyone!  It was good to discover some more local LGBTQ+ and allied community members, and I look forward to further connection.  

For more about the aftermath of Pulse, from a Florida-led national perspective, visit WeAreOrlando.org.   

Montgomery County MD event re: mass shooting at Pulse nightclub

Tonight we attended Community Leaders Join LGBTQ Community to Condemn Violence and Bigotry -- pretty much the official Montgomery County MD event about the mass shooting at the Pulse LGBT+ nightclub in Orlando FL, i.e. the event that all the local and state politicians etc. were at, and by far the most visible Pulse event here.  And as we expected, and some of tonight's speakers acknowledged, it was a long strange trip in many ways.

It was especially interesting as the Jewish holiday of Shavuot was ending at sunset, and so was another day of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan -- indeed, our Muslim organizational hosts invited us to join them for an iftar dinner after they retired for prayer (and any Muslim present was invited to join them for that as well).  And of course the shooting was just yesterday morning (in the very early hours), and I just returned from the Philly Trans Health Conference with TransFaith today.  This is quite a Pride season!  Among other things.

And perhaps the very best part of tonight was James "Jim" Stowe's speech.  Jim is the Director of the Montgomery County MD Office of Human Rights, and has been a powerful ally in local LGBTQ work.  It's been a privilege and pleasure to work closely with him on trans issues here.

“Senator, why do we not have a Gay Pride parade in Montgomery County? We have members of the LGBTQ community in Montgomery County. Why don’t we stand up and be proud of that as well? And celebrate that!”

DMV Fat-Friendly Community -- Clothing Swap & Tea

The fun image that was used for the Facebook event.

Sadly, we missed the DMV Fat-Friendly Community’s latest clothing swap today, at a Community member's parent's home (thanks!  I was at the Philly Trans Health Conference with TransFaith, and Julia was busy too).  Especially sad as it did what it said on its tin (ha!) in that it included a lot of good tea and related snacks.  But we hear great things from those who were there.

And if more fat-friendly community in the DMV (DC / MD / VA) would make you happier too, dear reader, please be in touch.

We have more plans being planned, and are open to questions, suggestions and more -- but it's also more than okay if you need to just "lurk" and/or be online-only.  My Julia founded the DMV FFC a few years ago, and we have more than 100 members in the Facebook Group now! Including a good amount who actively participate online and off -- and/but, the more the merrier.

Montgomery County MD's first LGBTQ youth prom!

Tonight we chaperoned the MoCo MD LGBTQ Youth Forum’s Pride Prom (A Time Travelers' Ball; steampunk-themed), right here in Gaithersburg (my partner Julia’s hometown and our current home) – the first queer youth prom in this county!

Julia attended the ’89 Gaithersburg High School prom and I the ’94 Newton North High School (suburban Boston MA) one -- I was half of the first (?) LGBTQ couple to do so, and went on to attend and chaperone the BAGLY Prom (Boston Alliance of LGBTQ youth) the oldest in the country.

In addition to DJ ‘Zo, we had a crew from HOT 99.5 (FM, DC), including DJ Houston, who is gay; and much of the food was donated by &Pizza and Wegmans (Germantown).

Our vest and some of the rest of our outfits are thrifted, and our orchids are from one of our houseplants.

‪#‎MCMDPrideProm‬ ‪#‎LGBTQyouth‬ ‪#‎LGBTQ‬ ‪#‎youth‬ ‪#‎queeryouth‬ ‪#‎prom‬ ‪#‎LGBTQprom‬ ‪#‎MoCoMD‬ ‪#‎MoCo‬ ‪#‎MD‬ ‪#‎Maryland‬ ‪#‎Gaithersburg‬ ‪#‎steampunk‬ ‪#‎MoCoLGBTQyouth‬ ‪#‎MoCoLGBTQyouthforum‬

Science News : Planet Jupiter Now Looks Like Transgender Flag!

So we went to our local post office today – and learned that the planet Jupiter now looks like the trans*(gender et al) flag!  (The most popular one, by far, at least.)

Views of Our Planets and Pluto Explored forever stamps will be issued on the 31st at the World Stamp Show 2016 (in NYC).

And of course we will get and use some.

‪#‎PlanetStamps‬ ‪#‎Jupiter‬ ‪#‎transflag‬ ‪#‎trans‬ ‪#‎transgender‬ ‪#‎transpride‬ ‪#‎stamps‬ ‪#‎USPSstamps‬ ‪#‎USPS‬

Free State Legal & Equality Maryland's Community Listening Sessions

Free State Legal & Equality Maryland have been holding Community Listening Sessions across the state, and Julia and I helped to organize two of them (and we attended those ones).  FSLEM has also been doing a community survey (primarily through Survey Monkey).  This is all part of their merger, to become the primary statewide LGBTQ organization.

On Wednesday May 4th, we were in Rockville, at the public library, and it was very successful.  Special thanks to Maryland Trans*Unity for hosting – especially its primary organizer Ezra Towne.  (Facebook event.) Also, our meeting room at the Rockville Library had the soda fountain from Vinson’s Pharmacy.  

On Sunday May 15th, we were in Boyds, at Open Door Metropolitan Community Church -- which was a host and participant in more ways than one (thank you) -- and it also went very well.  (Facebook event.)  We didn't make it to Open Door's Pentecost service that morning, but as you can see we still saw the sanctuary in its fiery finery.

Many thanks to FSLEM’s Director of Community Engagement & Youth Policy Saida Agostini for schlepping to more than a dozen of these throughout MD (!), not to mention facilitating them so well.


‪#FreeStateLegal #EqualityMD #FreeStateJustice #‎LGBTQMD #LGBTQMaryland #LGBTQ‬ #‎bisexual‬ ‪#‎trans‬ ‪#‎queer‬ #‎MD‬ ‪#‎Maryland‬ ‪#‎RockvilleMD‬ ‪#‎BoydsMD‬ ‪#‎Maythe4th‬ ‪#‎Maythe4thbewithyou‬ ‪#‎andalsowithyou‬‎ #RockvilleLibrary ‪#‎OpenDoorMCC‬ #Pentecost2016

Rainbow Families DC conference 2016

Today I was on the panel for the workshop Re/Claiming Faith:  Discussions of Faith Within LGBTQ Communities at Rainbow Families DC’s 2016 Family Conference, at the Georgetown Day School in DC (the high school campus).  “Held every two years, the Rainbow Families DC Family Conference provides an opportunity for LGBTQ parents, family members and their children, as well as prospective parents, to gather for a day of learning, networking and fellowship.”  I was given this opportunity by TransFaith, where I’m a National Councilmember – the TF office in Philly was asked to help gather local panelists through our national network.  I hadn’t interacted with RF before, but I knew about them, and knew a few families here in the County that were members.

This was the only faith-based programming at the conference, and it is still a new conversation there, and I think we helped them move towards a larger conversation over the next two years.  Our description, which did turn out to be accurate:  “As persons who identify as LGBTQ, we have often had to hide our sexual orientation and/or gender identity in religious settings or face rejection.  Many of us have experienced explicit or implicit exclusion and discrimination from faith communities and come to believe that we cannot both be our true LGBTQ selves and be religious or spiritual.  It is often assumed that persons of faith, particularly faith leaders, are anti-LGBTQ.  This workshop will offer a facilitated space where panelists from several faith traditions will speak from their experiences of reclaiming or claiming faith, drawing from sacred texts that speak to inclusion.  Information will be shared about local religious communities that are truly open and inclusive to LGBTQ persons and our families.”

Our facilitator was Rev. Michele Johns (Silver Spring United Methodist Church staff member, hospital chaplain), and my fellow panelists were Hilary Howes (Roman Catholic transgender faith leader,  Call To Action - Maryland board member, event designer; also part of TransFaith’s network, and the only person I knew beforehand), Amanda Poppei (Washington Ethical Society’s Senior Leader, Unitarian Universalist minister), and Laura Moye (Saint Stephen & the Incarnation Episcopal Church member, charter school teacher).

We were MoCo MD Election Judges again

Julia and I were Election Judges for the Montgomery County MD Board of Elections last month, for the second election in a row, for both early voting week and election day. We were also asked to work at canvassing, the process that the BOE goes through after election day, but we weren’t available.

And they will need thousands of people for October and November, and may well not get enough, and they do offer stipends -- I don’t know if / how available we will be, but if you are interested, visit 777vote.org asap.

And now for some of my favorite faith, trans, and scifi / fantasy moments from this election....

A favorite faith moment:

Me: Hello, excuse me, I’m just restocking the pens.
Woman in next voting booth: Oh, thank you. Wait – are people stealing your pens?
Me: Well, yes. Once in a while.
Catholic priest in booth next to her: Thou shalt not steal.
Woman: That’s right!
Me: *LOL* Yes. Yes, it is. Thank you, Father.

A favorite ‪#‎trans‬ moment -- a fellow trans voter gave my fellow judges and I one of these business cards from The Transgender Encounter Project (TEP).  The TEP offers several card designs and texts, and encourages you to design your own; you can also put a pin on their map to show where you’ve used them, donate, read their blog, and more.  ‪#‎transencounter‬

A favorite scifi / fantasy moment:  

Election co-worker: So yes, Lynda Carter, Wonder Woman, came to vote at the precinct I was working at. Oh, and when she left, we found out that she drives a Tesla. Isn’t that interesting?
Me: Yes. But, it would have to be something like that, wouldn’t it? I mean, once you’ve driven an invisible plane -- !
Co-worker: *LOL* You know, I hadn’t thought of that!
Me: I’m just saying.

Call To Action & Healing Circle event re: trans women of color (MoCo MD)

Tonight we observed Pesach | Passover by attending the Call To Action and Healing Circle at the Montgomery County MD Council building in Rockville -- organized by and centering trans women of color, with Casa Ruby LGBT Community Center, the Trans Women of Color Collective, and the Baltimore Transgender Alliance.

This was partly inspired by the murder of Zella Ziona here in Gaithersburg (our home and Julia's hometown) in October and Keyonna Blakeney's in the aforementioned Rockville (the next town) this month.  They were both young trans women of color.

There were speakers, calls and responses, a ritual drawing on African spirituality, and an opportunity for anyone to step into the circle and speak (which I participated in).  In addition to trans community members and allies, attendees included county leaders and police -- and we were also honored by the presence of part of Keyonna's family (her father is holding one side of the sign).

#ZellaZiona #KeyonnaBlakeney #TWOC #WOC #womenofcolor #transwomen #trans #transgender #DMV #MD #DC #Baltimore #MoCoMD #TDOR #TransDOR #MCMDTDOR #CasaRuby #TWOCC #BaltimoreTransAlliance #MoCoMDCouncil #Passover2016 #Pesach5776

TransFaith's Being Brave Together -- our 2nd retreat

Louis (right) and I posing with some of our visual aids; photo by Chris.

TransFaith -- where I'm a founding member of the new National Council -- launched its Being Brave Together model early this year, including our first BBT retreat in Miami, which I co-facilitated.

Today I co-facilitated our second BBT retreat, this time in the Germantown neighborhood of Philadelphia, at Germantown Mennonite Church -- the oldest Mennonite church in North America, GMC's history is unusually inclusive of LGBTQ people -- check out this 10-minute video documenting that; rightly they say they have been "Proclaiming Peace & Justice since 1683" (!).

Again TF Community Engagement Consultant Louis Mitchell was my co-facilitator, and again TF Executive Director Chris Paige was the logistical host.  Also again, attendees included both local and long-distance trans and allied leaders as well as some TF board members -- and our new staff member, Operations Coordinator Tahnee Jackson.

We’re planning more BBT retreats in other cities this year -- do you want to be involved in planning and/or attending them?  And/or do you know someone who does? Visit http://www.transfaithonline.org/connect/being_brave_together/ today!

Dulin United Methodist Church youth group meeting

The photo the church apparently submitted to Google Maps in June 2008 – I know, right?

Tonight I visited one of Dulin United Methodist Church’s youth groups – the one for the oldest youth, there is also one for the children – to talk with them about transgender issues and social justice.  I was joined by a young trans member of the church.  Dulin UMC is in Falls Church VA, where I had never been before.    

One of DUMC’s pastors contacted TransFaith -- where I am a member of the National Council -- looking for a trans guest speaker, and we weren’t easily finding anyone in Virginia – and the church isn’t actually far from our home in Gaithersburg MD, and offered an honorarium.  My partner Julia was raised United Methodist, and was with me the whole evening.

We joined both youth groups for a dinner made by their parents (lasagnas, salad, other veggies, dessert, and more), then the children went to their meeting while we regrouped with the youth and two of their fathers.  My fellow speaker and I told our stories and took questions, and then joined the group in an activity that explored the spectrum of gender.  They also reflected on their own gender expressions, and we closed with a Bible passage and prayer.

Dim Sum with the DVM Fat-Friendly Community again

We had a great time with the DMV Fat-Friendly Community today -- two tables’ worth of us went to dim sum at Wong Gee Asian Restaurant.

And we brainstormed several good ideas for future gatherings.

So if you’re looking for fat-friendly community here in the DMV (DC / MD / VA), join the Group and introduce yourself.

Germantown Community Forum on LGBTQ Equity and Safety (#NoH8Gtown)

The event flyer -- this eagle is the symbol of Seneca Valley High.

Today PFLAG Germantown (MD) -- a community group of Metro DC PFLAG – held the Germantown Community Forum on LGBTQ Equity and Safety with and at Seneca Valley High School (the public high school of Germantown; part of the Montgomery County MD public school system) from 2:00 to 5:00 p.m., and we attended.  This event was partly in response to the October murder of Zella Ziona, a 21-year-old black transgender woman; Germantown was Zella’s hometown, she attended Seneca Valley High, and she was killed in Gaithersburg (my partner Julia’s hometown and our current home).

Here is the webpage, and here is the Facebook event; their text is “In an effort to make Germantown a safe space for all residents, PFLAG Germantown, a community group of Metro DC PFLAG, and Seneca Valley High School invite you to participate in an open forum to explore issues that affect the LGBTQ community. The purpose of the forum is to discuss inclusion, equity, acceptance, and tolerance for LGBTQ residents of Germantown and the surrounding areas. There will be a panel of local leaders to address various viewpoints of these issues, followed by small group discussions where community members can engage in reflection and planning of ways that we can make Germantown a safe and welcoming community.”

And it made a good start at doing what it said on its tin.  The panelists were my colleagues Michelle McLeod of Honorary Nieces and Nephews, Karen Holmes of Metro DC PFLAG, and Rev. Miller Hoffman of Open Door MCC; joined by Gerri Carpenter, parent of a transgender son and lesbian daughter.  The moderator was John Bartkowiak of PFLAG Germantown.

After the panel, we attendees each chose a small group discussion topic, and went to a classroom – Julia and I chose Faith & The LGBTQ Community, facilitated by Rev. Miller, with Rev. Anne Holmes of Seneca Valley UCC.  There was also Institutionalized Homophobia with Michelle, Parents and Teens : How to Talk About Sexuality with Gerri as well as Jean Bertelmann of PFLAG Germantown, and Trans-Awareness with Karen and John, and Mental and Physical Health Concerns with Bianca Palmisano of Metro DC PFLAG, Policing with Sergeant Jessica Hawkins of the DC Metropolitan Police LGBT Liaison Unit and Officer Rose Borisow of the Montgomery County Police Department. 

After the small group discussions, we all came back together for discussion and questions and answers.

The event was open to the public, and had meal-worthy food donated by Wegmans and &Pizza.

Unfortunately there were very few attendees, especially outside of Seneca Valley High people, but that made some sense under the circumstances.  And the event did display an unusual level of nuance and potential – for one thing, there was far more, and more diverse, trans content that one would expect.   

The cafeteria where most of the event took place was far too hot, but in fairness the weather today was very Springy instead of Wintry (and I have a cold).  A more addressable concern is that the breakout rooms were set up mostly with those combination chair-and-desks that do not accommodate many fat and/or disabled people – this is an issue not only when hosting events, but for the school’s students and other usual users as well. 

More information can be had by contacting J.C. Fellows at Joanna.C.Fellows@mcpsmd.net.  The hashtag is #NoH8Gtown.

Rockville United Church's LGBTQ Outreach Group meeting

Today my partner Julia McCrossin and I spoke at the monthly meeting of Rockville United Church’s Outreach Group, and it was a great experience.  Among other things, the group is preparing to continue guiding the church through updating their Statement of Faith to include “gender identity and expression”.

We first connected with RUC last fall, when they became the excellent host of the 5th annual Montgomery County MD Transgender Day of Remembrance last November.  We went on to spend most of Christmas Day at the lovely home of some RUC leaders, and attended RUC’s annual Martin Luther King Jr. / Justice / LGBTQ Sunday on January 17th -- the guest speaker was Rev. Allyson Dylan Robinson, and the focus was on trans issues.

RUC is truly committed to moving forward with internal and external LGBTQ+ work, and we are looking forward to staying connected with them.

TransFaith's Being Brave Together launches

My copy of the brand-new TransFaith Being Brave Together binder, along with the flamingo pen I got at the airport (I flew in and out of Fort Lauderdale).

February has already been an unusually trans-faithful(l) month -- even for me.

After accepting an invitation to be a founding member of TransFaith’s new National Council, I co-facilitated our first Being Brave Together retreat with TF Community Engagement Consultant Louis Mitchell, this past weekend in Miami.  TF Executive Director Chris Paige was the logistical host (thank you!!), and attendees included both local and long-distance trans and allied leaders as well as some TF board members (thank you all!!!).

We’re planning our next BBT retreat to be in Philadelphia in April. Want to be involved in that or others this year? Let us know at http://www.transfaithonline.org/connect/being_brave_together/!

Another DMV Fat-Friendly Community clothing swap

Had a great time at the DMV Fat-Friendly Community's latest clothing swap, held today at the home of a member.

Julia found a few pieces of clothing -- these swaps sometimes include men's / masculine clothing, and other members with that style -- and I these jewels.

A necklace with a clear glass ring printed with tree branches in white and a piece of ye old architecture in black, on a black leather cord with an antiqued copper bead toggle closure; pendant is 3” -- I can also wear it as a bracelet, cord is 20”.

A triple-strand necklace of copper-finish seed beads and light green faceted bicone beads, with a silver-tone lobster claw clasp and extender chain; 16.5” to 20”.

Both belonged to the host, and the former was via Etsy and made from a bottle (yah, I'm thinking vodka).

And you can see our stylish outfits for today here.

‪#‎thrift‬ ‪#‎thrifting‬ ‪#‎clothingswap‬ ‪#‎style‬ ‪#‎fashion‬ #fatshion ‪#‎OOTD‬ ‪#‎fatcommunity‬ ‪#‎beads‬ ‪#‎beading‬ ‪#‎beadwork‬ ‪#‎jewelry‬ #Etsy

Tu B'Shevat 5776 (2016)

Happy Tu B'Shevat, Rosh HaShanah La'Ilanot -- the New Year of the Trees, the Birth Day of the Trees.

Not to be confused with the birthday of the Trews – the trans Jews. We were born on the Sixth Day along with everyone else – which includes people of all body sizes and shapes, dis/abilities, sexes / genders / sexualities, skin shades, and so on.

That is, if you believe in the right Scriptures, as I do.  ; > ))

Chris Hannon's memory has been a blessing for a year -- and yet...

Today is the first yahrtzeit of Chris Hannon, one of the very best friends and family members I’ve ever had, and ever will have – a year ago tonight, at the age of 37, he took his own life.

May his memory be a blessing (as we say in Judaism) -- his Earthly life continuing would be oh so much more of a blessing, but I believe that he lives on in many senses, and I know that his memory can continue to change and save lives. Both due to and despite his depression and other challenges, he lived an inspired and inspiring life -- and although he has left us too soon, he can help us prevent others from leaving before their time. (I am especially mindful of this as a member of the trans community, where the suicide attempt rate is over 40%.)

He has been in my thoughts and elsewhere every day, and in my dreams many nights. (Am I the only person who, during a dream about a dead loved one, realizes that they’re dead but not that I’m dreaming, and isn’t sure what I should do?)

These are the condolence cards I made for his mother and fiancé. And this is the blog post I wrote a year ago.

Happy 2016!!

Actually, New Year's was in September, and it's 5776.  But that's none of my business.

Happy Hanukkah 5776 / 2015

Happy Hanukkah 5776 / 2015 from the Westminster Flabby family!

This is one of our several menorahs, which I got at April Cornell's outlet shop in Boston's Quincy Market several years ago. And my mother-in-sin’s new Xmas tree from QVC; and the sign we got for our dogter Ursula from our Goodwill of Greater Washington that says “Who needs Santa Claus -- I’ve got Grandma” (and believe me, truer words--!).

Ursula also has a handmade menorah in the form of a felt wall hanging that uses dog treats as candles, by and from her Zia J, aka The Abundant Artisan.

Much more about our Chrismahanukwansolsticetc. adventures on my Facebook.
‪
#‎HanukkAdvent‬ ‪#‎Adventukkah‬ ‪#‎Jewscopalian‬