Happy DMVersary To Me

So as of tonight, I have been living here in the DC area for a year, after living in Boston for my first 37 ½.

Many thoughts and feelings, but it is wonderful to finally be living with my Julia – who has always lived here – and our dogter Ursula, as well as my mother-in-sin; we were long-distance for our first 4 ½ years.

Here is the snow globe I got during one of my two trips to the NYAC conference with BAGLY in the 90s; that was the only time I had been to the DMV before I met J. (National Youth Advocacy Coalition, 1993 – 2011; Boston Alliance of GLBT Youth, founded in 1980 and still going strong.)

May Jeannette Bazinet's memory be a blessing

Jeannette and Denise at the Peabody Essex Museum's Hats exhibit in 2012; photo by Han.  As you can see, the fabulous did not skip a generation!

My honorary grandmother / great-aunt “Mrs. Baz” passed on today at 92; the mother / mother-in-law of family friends Denise and Han. I especially appreciated her because of the long-distance and other issues with my parents’ parents et al.

One of my favorite “little” things about her was that when she gave my brother and I money, she would make the bills into fans and tie them with ribbons. When she heard that as part of my 21st birthday celebration I was going to Foxwoods for the first time, she made up the nicest gift box of fanned bills and quarters for me to gamble with. And when she saw that I was in the receiving line at the funeral home when her husband had died, she had Denise bring her purse so that she could make me a dollar bill fan before I got to her! I’ve never cried in public, but I came oh so close that night!

May her memory be a blessing (as we say in Judaism).  Here is the obituary in the South Coast Times.

May Chris Hannon's memory be a blessing

Here we are with Chris in December 2009 in Boston; Julia and I first met that July. (And this was the day after C's first date with his fiance!) As it turned out, this was the only time that C and J met, partly because J and I were long-distance until a year ago, so now I'm even happier that it happened.

I learned today that Chris Hannon, one of the very best friends and family members I’ve ever had, passed away last night, and that he had taken his own life. We met as high schoolers at BAGLY (Boston Alliance of GLBT Youth) in the early 90s; he was already an impressive leader. He was 37, a year younger than I.

Obituary and arrangements are here – visiting hours Thursday and funeral mass Friday, both in his native Dorchester; internment private; in lieu of flowers donations to MSPCA-Angell.

I hadn't interacted with Chris since I moved to DC a year ago, after a lifetime in Boston, though I had intended to every day and could and should have. I loved and missed him, thought about him every day and often saw him in my dreams. I am oh so much sorrier about my avoidance now.

Especially as I knew this had been and maybe was a risk -- he had always struggled with a depression that was particularly hard to treat, and it was complicated by other issues. But I had thought/hoped that he was finally at a treatment and life place where this wouldn’t happen, even if it could. He was engaged, they had dogs…and so on and so forth. And he was very high-functioning, if anything too much so, and was an extraordinary person. An amazing friend, sister, amateur therapist; thinker, reader, writer; compassionate, generous, smart. And so funny and so fast! Indeed, in many ways he reminded me of Robin Williams.

And yet he struggled with feeling not good enough, including for me, with not being a consistent enough friend, with how to witness my happiness, especially since Julia. And I did struggle with his struggle, and his coming and going, and with not wanting to bother him too much, especially when he was happy, not to mention busy. I hope he knew how I still felt. I believe he knows now, but that is somewhat cold comfort.

I can't afford to go Boston, as I am yet again searching for paid work. But I am making cards to send, and seeing how else I can be supportive. And I have good support myself.

But like many others have expressed here, what I want most of all is for Chris to return, how much more so never to have left. May his memory be a blessing, as we say in Judaism.

Julia's review of April Herndon’s “Fat Blame" in the current issue of the Fat Studies Journal

Julia’s review of April Herndon’s book “Fat Blame: How the War on Obesity Victimizes Women and Children” is in the current issue of Fat Studies: An Interdisciplinary Journal of Body Weight and Society (volume 4, issue 1)!

Along with pieces by Lesleigh Owen, Maya Maor, Stefanie Snider, Pattie Thomas and several others.

If you don’t have access to the journal, Julia can send you a special link to her review; and I think the other authors can do the same.